Below your paragraph describe at least one thing you think your paragraph does well. Then describe one thing you think could become stronger. Remember they key information to give your reader:
- How do you know?
- Says who?
- So what?
How might you go about doing this? Look for feedback in the comments.
Due on Thursday, March 25th, at 5PM. Remember to check back for feedback!
This a paragraph from the middle of my paper.
ReplyDeleteIn Wal-mart they make their workers take drug test. It is contraversal weither or not, this is a good idea. In the article " Progressive Wal-Mart. Really" by Sebastian Mallaby it saids " Companies like Wal-Mart are not run by saints. They can treat workers and competitors roughtly.They may be poor stewards of the environment.When they break the law they must be punished." If the coworker fails the drug test they will get fired, and when they are looking for another job and they call and figured out that they took drugs on the job. That can ruin any chance of getting a new job.
Good start - think more about how to show the relationship between the citation and your argument - I'm not yet sure how it relates.
ReplyDeleteFrom now on do your posts on your own blog so they don't get lost in the comment threads. You can cut and paste this one.
This is a paragraph in the middle of my paper.
ReplyDeleteOne question i use to ask myself was how can you satisfy your customers when your employees are miserable? However i realized its an obligation upon one who is responsible. These workers have no choice but to continue their everyday routine after 9 to 12 hours a day of work. It is very unfair for one person to stress themselves and over work because of short staff. Companies need to ensure fair treatment of their employees. There has to be working arrangements and certain changes in the hours per day an employ works. From when the shift starts to when it ends there has to be a reduction of hours worked in one day. Also a certain pattern on the job description or in other words split a shift with another co-worker for time to rest. We have people standing up for over hours and doing over time in a job not getting paid for it. In the article "Up Against Wal-Mart" by Karen Olsson it saids "Its stressful," she says "They push you to he limit. They just want to see how much they can get away with with-out having to hire someone else". pg 343 With no pay in return it is a very difficult task to complete. There are many complaints about low pay and under staffing in retail environments.
Good start - think about how to make it clearer who is actually speaking in your quote - remember our discussion on dealing with 'quotes within quotes.'
ReplyDeletePut your posts on your own blogs so folks can see them and respond. Thanks!